2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
