i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
