so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
