butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize