What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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