I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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