So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
