Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
