just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
