Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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