Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
