Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
