Dual....:-)
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
