you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
