Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
