I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
