Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i now understand why vodka
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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