i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize