If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
