Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
