Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
