to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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