He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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