shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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