I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
