The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize