perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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