i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
