Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My penis needs a shock collar
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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