porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
