They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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