He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
