Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
