I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
