it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
