Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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