You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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