Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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