but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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