wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
