he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
