i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
