But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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