yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just found a bag of teeth...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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