What did we do last night that was yellow?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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