Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
