dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
