I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
