But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
