we're blogging at a bar
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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