If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
