Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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