I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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