Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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