Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
