apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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