I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She's the barista slut.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
